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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then there's the replica of modernist architecture all over. Some buildings look like they came from Agnès Varda’s dreams—quirky and profound, like tiny miracles in every crack. I'm always like, "Man, life is fragile but so damn beautiful!" I even remember this one time I sat by the Irwell—nah, scratch that, the Spree nearby—and felt like a star in some indie flick. Crazy, right?

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